Eddie and Martha Marie Smith

Can I just say that I’m getting to the point that I’m done???  I’m warning you….this post is a little different from usual.  Today’s been tough, and honestly I’m just kind of ill at God because I’m not understanding what He keeps doing.  On the other side of it though I feel bad at being upset at God after He miraculously has brought me through brain surgery and so much else!

One of our kids is running a very high temperature…it started yesterday afternoon and has continued on through out today.  You can tell that he feels pretty bad….poor guy.  The doctor told us that after checking everything else it looks like it is just something viral and will have to run its course.  He also said that we need to cancel our plans for the next few days.  I expected that but here’s my big problem with this….tomorrow is mine and Eddie’s 5 year wedding anniversary.  We have plans made for the next several days and then myself and the kids will stay in NC next week while Eddie comes back to work.  I have been so looking forward to this for awhile now, because well…let’s just say I’m getting cabin fever in our house   Plus…I would love to be able to hang out with my family next week, but most importantly I would love to be able to celebrate five years with my husband.  Not only is one of our kids sick but it looks like my incision might be infected as well……we’re waiting to hear from the doctor on that today.

I just feel that Satan is continuing to attack us in so many ways…big and small…and it’s not let up in months!  I’m so ready for a little break!  Honestly just about every week there is something different that happens on top of us trying to handle recovery with me and childcare for the kids……

BUT…when I stop to really think about things I can see why Satan is fighting so hard.  First of all, adoption.  I know without a doubt that the last thing Satan wants is for us to adopt this little boy, but Eddie and I know without a doubt that that is truly God’s plan.  Second of all, Eddie and I are involved in a church where there is a core group of people that have a heart and passion to see people come to Christ, and as the Lord’s leading we are preparing to take big steps to see that happen….that’s what church is supposed to be about…meeting people, building relationships, and showing them Christ!  Why aren’t more churches making this a priority when that’s what church is all about?!??!  Third of all, God’s put something on my heart in such a huge way…..it’s been something that I’ve thought about for almost five years now, and in the last two months I feel that God is telling me this is the time for it to happen.  I can honestly say it’s not my dream…in fact, it pretty much terrifies me and excites me all at the same time.  I’ve told God though that I will do whatever He asks, and that always means stepping out of the comfort zone and embracing His dreams….so that’s what I’m going to do.   I guess there’s three big reasons why Satan is just having a field day with us right now.  I’m sure that many of you reading this right now could list tons of ways that Satan is fighting your own family so hard.  Wow….how great it is though when we think about how we serve the most powerful God in existence!  He’s The Resurrection and The Life…Alpha and Omega…..Messiah……The Beloved….The Almighty……I Am…..King of Kings and Lord of Lords…..Prince of Peace…….Immanuel….Redeemer……Protector…….The Way, The Truth, and The Life….Jesus Christ… 

I look at all that and wonder why am I even worried?  I serve Jesus Christ who gave His life for me……the only thing I should be focused on is how to get closer with Him.  He promises that everything else will fall into place if He is our first and primary focus.  Ok…so I’m sorry that you had to read all that just for me to figure out that everything is going to be ok, and God wins in the end!  We already have the victory….I guess it’s about time I start claiming it! 

Recovery is proving to be a definite test for me…..one day I will feel like I have some energy and feel pretty good most of the day, and then the next day I’ll be exhausted and spend 70% of the day in bed.  I know that’s a normal thing and what I should expect, but I have such a hard time, because I want to be better NOW!!  I think my patience needs a little work…what do you think?

The hardest part is not being able to take care of my kids that much….Selah still doesn’t understand why I can’t pick her up when she says “want to hold you Mommy.”  That’s her way of saying to pick her up.  

We’ve also had people in our home since before the surgery….there has to be someone here at all times.  We are so thankful for the family members and friends that have sacrificed their time and energy to take care of us…..wow, people truly have gone out of their way for us.  What a gift they have all been to us!  I must say though that I’m ready for me and me only to be able to take care of my family….does that sound as bad as I think it does?  I think I’m just ready for normal again….whatever our new “normal” may look like.  It’s exciting to think about what God has in store….I think Eddie and I are both so much more open to what’s ahead…no matter what God asks us to do, I know we’ll do it.  Do you know how nice that is to say???  I don’t think we’ve been completely here before, but now that we are I’m excited…and a bit scared!  Who knows where we’ll be in 5, 10, 15 years, BUT wherever it is I know it’ll be God’s best.  WOW….I’m VERY excited!!!  Thank you Lord for teaching us so much in the past 2 years…..they have not been the easiest years….but Lord the fruit that we are beginning to see from them!  How amazing You are Jesus! 

One big prayer request I would ask is that you pray that the fever I had yesterday doesn’t come back again.  It was over a 100 last night, and at first we were told by a neurologist to go straight to the ER, but after explaining we think it’s just a little viral something that I picked up from a friend, they said just to keep a close watch on it.  I don’t think I’ve run a fever in over two years, but I guess after major surgery your immune system does a major nose dive.  Anyway please pray for complete health for our family….God is the Great Physician and can do anything, so I want to trust Him for no sickness whatsoever!!!!

Love all of you….thanks for your continued prayers! 

I’m sure many of you have already heard about the tragedy that happened in the Steven Curtis Chapman family.  Their youngest little adopted Chinese girl was killed just a few days ago when an SUV ran over her.  She had just celebrated her fifth birthday.  I’ve had a hard time with this one…..I can’t wrap my mind around it…..I can’t figure out why God allows some things such as this to happen….why would he give us a child and then take that child away in such a horrible way?  

Today they are having a memorial service for this little girl by the name of Maria Sue Chapman.  It was at 11 today and I haven’t been able to think of anything else but that.  I’m so praying for their family….I don’t know how the Chapman’s will get through this except by the mercy and grace of God Himself, but I do know that God can bring good through anything…no matter what!  So…that’s what I’m praying for. 

“Lord please bring glory through this little girl’s life……we don’t understand why and never will, but we trust you Lord no matter what…what an honor that you give us children Lord, but may we never take a day with them for granted…not even a minute.  We are not promised tomorrow with them…we have only today.  No promise has been made that we will die before our children…although that’s what normally happens, that is never a definite.  Help us see ways everyday that we can continously pour into our children’s lives, whether they are 2, or 20, or 50.  Our children are your children Lord…you have just let us have the honor and privilege of raising them at this time…..at this moment.  May we make every minute with them count!  Help us not allow the business of life shut out those extra wonderful moments with them.  Life passes so quickly Jesus…….may we treasure every second with our kids!  Thank you for putting your arms around the Chapman’s today, tomorrow, and the months and months ahead…..they need you to breathe for them during this time…..we love You Lord….we may not understand Your ways, but we trust You, we believe in You, we hold fast to You.  Amen.

Brain surgery has allowed me to see things so new…..and to take nothing for granted.  I pray that I will be the best mom I can be to my children, and every day it will be PRIORITY for me to show them Christ somehow, someway!  He is the most important thing that they need, that they’ll ever need…..what a GREAT responsibility we have…..what an honor we have to be parents to God’s children!  It doesn’t get any better than this!  

Yes!!!  I finally got to wash my hair!!!!  I know to some of you that might seem like no big deal, but for a girl who has not been able to wash her hair in over two weeks and which still had a lot of dried blood left in, it was a HUGE deal!!!!

Isn’t it funny how we take so many things for granted?  Why is it that God sometimes has to let something disappear for awhile before we as God’s children are truly thankful?!?  That’s how you could describe my shower experience…..definitely that something I won’t take for granted again!   To me it seems that we are so spoiled in America and from our lips a lot of time all we express is how much we lack….what we don’t have…..what we “need” in order to live life to its fullest.   I wonder if one day I will ever truly be able to understand what Paul meant when he said “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Phil. 4:11-13. 

Thank God that He continues to work on me…..He’s not finished with me yet and for that I’m so very thankful!!!

Hey friends!  I finally get to say hello from the other side of this whole ordeal!!!!!  I’m soooo thankful that surgery is behind me!  I can’t even come close to expressing how good it feels!  And the fact that I feel Jesus has given me a second chance at life….wow, the things I dream about, the people I have a burden for, the things I want to be able to accomplish here on Earth…all those things I now see as realities….in God’s timing and in God’s way I believe those things will be fulfilled.  No more do I wonder…will this ever happen?  Or I’ll do this in a few years when I have time….  Or I can always tell that person about Jesus tomorrow…  nope, like I said before I see life so differently now.  I can only tell Christ thank you for allowing this to happen so I can see Him so much more clearly!  Our God is amazing!  

I will say that I don’t see life as my “comfort” anymore….I know that may sound weird, but I guess I mean that I see life for what it is now….it’s our training for our real life one day in Heaven.  I feel so much more a responsibility now to live life on purpose……please pray that I will always have this feeling…..I guess I just see it as what it is…it’s not about me…it’s all about God and His plan!  So….if you ever ask yourself…”who’s reaching out to my neighbors about Christ?” or “who’s going to get involved in that ministry that’s so close to my heart?” or “who’s told that family member about our incredible God?” and you don’t have an answer to your question then I would definitely think that you might be the very person God wants to use!!!!  We can say no to Him, but what joy what peace what excitement and adventure we’ll be missing out on.  Serving Christ….doing life with Him is the ONLY way for the best life we could ever have on this Earth! 

Thank you all for your many prayers…..again I have to say that I can’t express just how much I’ve appreciated every prayer….we are humbled by them and we have felt very loved through them.  Thank you for doing your part in this adventure that God’s put in our lives.  Honestly one of the most thrilling parts of this whole adventure has been watching the Body of Christ come together and carry us in so many ways.   It’s been humbling and we’ve had to swallow pride several times as we’ve admitted stuff about us that is not the first thing we want everyone to see.  I have realized though that we need to be transparent with each other….we need to be real…..we need to show others that we’re hurting at times, because if we don’t we are closing the opportunity for someone to be Jesus with skin on in our lives.  To be a Christian…to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ..it’s not about being perfect…why do so many of us try to pursue that?  It’s about seeking God in all areas above anything or anyone else and worshipping Him through life no matter the good or bad. 

Thanks for your continued prayers guys….recovery time is already proving to be stretching for me (although I’m so thankful that I get to go through recovery!!)  I can’t really do ANYTHING until four weeks after surgery and then after that I still have to wait another two weeks before I can drive and stuff like that.  So in the meantime I will try to enjoy my silver headband made of staples and continue to be so thankful that God brought me to the other side of this!!! 

Your thoughts, prayers, encouragement, and support has been amazing!  Thank you for being such a blessing to us!  We cannot thank you enough!

We could not have done it without the God that we all serve!  Thank you for going to Him on our behalf!

Martha Marie has had severe leg pain the past few days.  Something is going on with her hamstring.  It may have been pulled during surgery or may have happened from being in the bed for Tuesday-Saturday with little moving around?

She seems to be doing very well with everything else.  She is moving around very well.  The severe spasms in her leg have made it difficult however.  Please pray for these spasms and pain to relieve.

Yesterday was day three after the surgery.  We have been told that day three is the worst day usually after a major surgery.  Yesterday’s physical therapy session wasn’t all we hoped to be mixed with pain and crazy medicine combinations didn’t make yesterday encouraging at all.  The doctor said that the medicine mix yesterday is totally what caused Martha Marie to say crazy things.  Martha Marie told me in the car today on the way home that she remembered saying all those things and as soon as she said them she thought to her self that it didn’t sound right.

She blew through her physical therapy session today and was feeling much better.  The hospital let her go and we were happy to be on our way.

While Martha Marie was in the hospital, she slept 95% of the time.  The waking hours were going to the bathroom, taking medicine, checking vitals, and eating (very little).  Since she has been home, she has been awake most of the time, sitting up, walking around, talking, and has eaten much better.  She has to take it easy for 6 weeks now.

Martha Marie and I got home today around 2 p.m.  The kids were in the bed from their nap, but we got to see them around 2:30.  Mimaw and Nana were watching them while we were away.

It’s good to be home.  Thanks for praying us home!

The doctor released us!  We’re going home!

Will update more once we get home!

Thank you for praying!

Things were starting to look up after the physical therapy session today.  Around 4:00p.m. Martha Marie started to experience her set back.

She was given her pain medicine at 4:00 p.m.  She had slept an extra long nap which made her 2 hours late on her pain medicine.  When she woke up, her head was killing her.  It took a while for the medicine to set in.  It finally set in and then she was given a new medicine by IV.  As soon as the medicine was injected by syringe her arm started to burn and the burn did not go away for a while.

It wasn’t too long after she was given the new medicine she started saying crazy things like:

• Asking her sister if she wore her swim suit today
• Asking the nurse if she wear her own hat that is nowhere around
• Telling me that she liked my sweatshirt when I was wearing a t-shirt
• Telling us that she was talking to someone that wasn’t there

The doctor immediately stopped all of her narcotics since that seemed to be the problem.  She is still saying some things, but is more coherent now.

This really concerned us today and we are unable to talk with a doctor until tomorrow morning.  Please pray for wisdom for us, the nurses, and the doctor and physical therapist tomorrow morning.