Tough day….
Can I just say that I’m getting to the point that I’m done??? I’m warning you….this post is a little different from usual. Today’s been tough, and honestly I’m just kind of ill at God because I’m not understanding what He keeps doing. On the other side of it though I feel bad at being upset at God after He miraculously has brought me through brain surgery and so much else!
One of our kids is running a very high temperature…it started yesterday afternoon and has continued on through out today. You can tell that he feels pretty bad….poor guy. The doctor told us that after checking everything else it looks like it is just something viral and will have to run its course. He also said that we need to cancel our plans for the next few days. I expected that but here’s my big problem with this….tomorrow is mine and Eddie’s 5 year wedding anniversary. We have plans made for the next several days and then myself and the kids will stay in NC next week while Eddie comes back to work. I have been so looking forward to this for awhile now, because well…let’s just say I’m getting cabin fever in our house :) Plus…I would love to be able to hang out with my family next week, but most importantly I would love to be able to celebrate five years with my husband. Not only is one of our kids sick but it looks like my incision might be infected as well……we’re waiting to hear from the doctor on that today.
I just feel that Satan is continuing to attack us in so many ways…big and small…and it’s not let up in months! I’m so ready for a little break! Honestly just about every week there is something different that happens on top of us trying to handle recovery with me and childcare for the kids……
BUT…when I stop to really think about things I can see why Satan is fighting so hard. First of all, adoption. I know without a doubt that the last thing Satan wants is for us to adopt this little boy, but Eddie and I know without a doubt that that is truly God’s plan. Second of all, Eddie and I are involved in a church where there is a core group of people that have a heart and passion to see people come to Christ, and as the Lord’s leading we are preparing to take big steps to see that happen….that’s what church is supposed to be about…meeting people, building relationships, and showing them Christ! Why aren’t more churches making this a priority when that’s what church is all about?!??! Third of all, God’s put something on my heart in such a huge way…..it’s been something that I’ve thought about for almost five years now, and in the last two months I feel that God is telling me this is the time for it to happen. I can honestly say it’s not my dream…in fact, it pretty much terrifies me and excites me all at the same time. I’ve told God though that I will do whatever He asks, and that always means stepping out of the comfort zone and embracing His dreams….so that’s what I’m going to do. I guess there’s three big reasons why Satan is just having a field day with us right now. I’m sure that many of you reading this right now could list tons of ways that Satan is fighting your own family so hard. Wow….how great it is though when we think about how we serve the most powerful God in existence! He’s The Resurrection and The Life…Alpha and Omega…..Messiah……The Beloved….The Almighty……I Am…..King of Kings and Lord of Lords…..Prince of Peace…….Immanuel….Redeemer……Protector…….The Way, The Truth, and The Life….Jesus Christ…
I look at all that and wonder why am I even worried? I serve Jesus Christ who gave His life for me……the only thing I should be focused on is how to get closer with Him. He promises that everything else will fall into place if He is our first and primary focus. Ok…so I’m sorry that you had to read all that just for me to figure out that everything is going to be ok, and God wins in the end! We already have the victory….I guess it’s about time I start claiming it!
May 30th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Amen, sister! We’re praying for you! I’m so sorry you have to endure the whole fever thing in the midst of all of this. You said it all well at the end of the post. I’m praying you can trust in your own words!
Love you guys!
May 30th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Hey guys, sorry for you disappoint for this weekend on top of such a difficult period in your life together. Martha, I hope that you continue to improve and that this infection goes away quickly. I also hope that you little one gets better quickly, it is awful to see you babies sick and hurting. Also, I would encourage you to maybe get in touch with Jason and Karen Laudermilch if you want to talk to a great couple about adoption, I’m sure you know others, but they had such positive experience and may be able to share some thoughts and idea. Let me know if you want to know how to reach them. Blessings.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:58 am
You preach it girl! It’s so neat that we know the end of the story and God wins! We just need to follow his direction, it’s all about obedience. Still praying for you all.
May 31st, 2008 at 11:44 am
Martha Marie…..
someone once told me that when satan attacks us hard on every side……we must be doing something right. passion for Christ and a sincerity to see His kingdom grow automatically brings satan knocking at a Christians door. you are human, and as such, you will get discouraged. you seem to have done such a great job keeping your eyes on Jesus. that’s what life is supposed to be about. the journey your family has gone through recently has touched countless lives…….and there’s still more to touch. take a deep breath and feel God’s power and life flow through you. i will certainly pray that the baby feels better quickly and that you get your time w/ Eddie and a break from your house. i will also pray that your incision is fine. you are so right about churches today. many people go and listen once a week and then do nothing…..and we all wonder why the world is the way it is these days. God’s people have become passive and timid! it’s time to tell the truth and to live it out in front of all we come in contact w/! i will ask the Lord to strengthen us all in this area!
thank you very much for being so transparent. i know i speak for myself and likely many, many others when i say that your vulnerability has brought me to my knees as well as perched me on a mountaintop! your willingness to share has been a testament of God’s faithfulness for us all to see. what a blessing! keep your chin up! He holds you in the palm of His capable hand!
May 31st, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Martha Marie and Eddie… I can’t tell you how blessed I am with the honesty of your heart and I am thankful for the privilege we have of praying with you… We are not living in a vaccuum, Our enemy is fighting hard. Last week was our last at Olathe Wesleyan and we still don’t know what God is up to, but the devil always overplays his hand… By that I mean, he could decieve us but he goes to such extreme measures that his micheif is obvious. You have been able to see through what’s going on and that loser is going down! We unite our hearts with you in prayer tonight.
Love ya,
Roger and Brenda
June 1st, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Martha Marie and Eddie…
I continue to pray for you as you face each challenge, and for your boy that his fever will soon break and he will start to feel better. The great physician is still at work.
John 14:27
Ed