Eddie and Martha Marie Smith

Ok, God tells us not to worry, right?  So why do we??? 

I have asked myself this question so many times in the past few months.  As many of you know God just took Eddie and I through the biggest test of faith in our lives…..we cried, we prayed, we trusted…somehow God gave us that trust in Him that gave us such a peace to walk the journey of brain surgey…so if somehow we can go through brain surgery with trust in God, why can’t we do that in every situation?

Today I was in a situation that was pretty tough for me…I won’t go in to a lot of detail, but let’s just say that it’s a situation that I’ve put into God’s hands countless times and I’ve taken it right back every time.  Does anyone else ever do that?  Then I find myself worrying about what’s ahead regarding this specific situation, and so many times I completely ignore the fact that I have an incredible Father who wants to give me peace and trust, but I’m too focused on worrying about the situation that I forget all about Him and try to figure it out myself.

So I came home today and put the kids down for their nap and got out a study I’ve been doing of Beth Moore’s.  It was about David during the time he was running from Saul…..David was running for his life, leaving his new wife, his best friend, everything….in Psalm 142 we see David crying out to God about his situation….David was really hurting and God was right there to hear David’s cry and give him the comfort and peace that David needed……reading that chapter made me wonder why do I turn to so many other things before going straight to God with my hurts and my frustrations?  Today I first tried to figure the situtaion out in my mind….when that didn’t work I called a couple people for a pep talk….still feeling discouarged I finally decided to pray about it.  That did it…prayer has a way of bringing us into God’s presence, which is completely transforming!!!

I feel ashamed of the way I’ve handled myself in this whole situation….what kind of example am I being to those involved that don’t know Christ?  Do they see much difference in me?  Probably not, at least not lately.  So…once again I have put this into His hands, and this time I’m praying that God will help me keep it in His hands!  God knows absolute best in all areas…I need to trust Him with this situation and leave it on His shoulders….He wants to carry my burdens….He knows how tough this has been for me, and He wants to help me through it…..it’s time I let Him! 

Lord….I’m sorry that I represent you so poorly at times….thank you for never giving up on me…..may I put all things into your big, capable hands and trust you with the outcome.  No matter what happens you know best….thanks for always being there for me Jesus….I love you so much and am so thankful that you continue to open my eyes to see as you see…..   

“Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline, and understanding.” - Proverbs 23:23

• Pay the price to get truth, but don’t let it go once you get it.  Share it, but don’t lose the basis in which you received it.
• We can get advice from God and see things as He sees them.
• God is the ultimate standard for truth.
•  We can seek correction and gather from lessons learned.
• “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” – Proverbs 12:1
•  The realization of truth hurts sometimes.
•  Truth helps us to be corrected.  We just need to respond well to it.
•  “Lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

This is Martha Marie’s favorite verse.  I’ve read this verse more than 50 times before.  I decided to break it down so I could better understand and appreciate it.

Trust

• To empower
• To have confidence in
• To depend upon
• To rely on
• To have faith in
• To hope in

All Your Heart 

• Giving every effort
• Exhausting every resource and option without quitting
• Persevering

Your Own Understanding

• Our finite attempt to make decisions
• Using only limited knowledge of ourselves
• Shortchanging ourselves of the unlimited wisdom available to us
• Not seeing the whole picture

Acknowledge Him

• Give credit where credit is due
• Give Him the glory for what only He can do
• Thank Him for allowing us the opportunity
• Give Him recognition as the source of all of our successes
• Inquiring of His interest before our own
• Going to Him to be the provider instead of any other vehicle

Make Your Paths Straight

• He knows the best route
• He knows the beginning, the end, and everything in-between

Ok so it’s been awhile since I’ve written…..life has begun to look somewhat normal again and I can not tell you what a blessing that has been!  I feel like a miracle because there are several days…in a row….when I feel full of energy and I don’t have a single pain anywhere!  Keep in mind that it’s only been 12 weeks since I had the brain surgery and 4 weeks since the gallbladder surgery….can we say miraculous?!?!?  God is amazing! 

This past season of our lives has been tough…I mean honestly it is not the most fun to have brain surgery, BUT I have to say that Eddie and I have been blessed to go through it….what an awesome opportunity…I realize some of you at this point may be thinking that the medications from the surgery might still be affecting me since I’m saying this stuff but I truly mean it!  I have learned things, understood things, that I never would have learned or understood unless going through something like this.  I think the main reason Eddie and I went through this is because God loves me.  I believe that with all my heart….God takes us through hard difficult times because He loves us.  He loves us so much that He will put us in impossible situations because He wants us to learn, see, understand more of Him….because He knows the more of Him we see and understand the better our lives will be, the better people we will be, the better future we will have…..the more we will be able to do for His kingdom. 

There were a few songs that I listened to very often during this past season that really helped and encouraged me.  One of them was In Christ Alone, but my all-time favorite was by Mandisa and is called “God Speaking.”  The message of the song is that God will use or do anything to not only get our attention but to show us just how much He loves us…..it was the song I continuously played on my ipod the morning I was walking into the hopsital for the brain surgery.  It gave me such a peace because I felt God’s message loud and clear:  “Martha Marie I love you.  I’m taking you through this for a reason.  Trust me….I will never let go of you.  I will always be with you no matter what!”

We will always face difficult times on this Earth.  There is no question about it.   When you’re going through those tough times it is sometimes so hard to hold on to hope and faith that everything is going to be ok.  The verse that was such a comfort but also the absolute toughest for me was Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”  It was so hard for me to “trust Him with all my heart”  in fact, I couldn’t do it on my own.  I prayed that God would give me that trust in Him.   And He did.  Nothing is impossible with Him.  Nothing.  So as Satan continues to try to discourage, and steal, kill, and destroy our hopes, and dreams, our joy…remember that no matter what we can trust God with all things.  No matter the situation God can take care of it….we just have to let Him. 

Lord, thank you with all my heart.  I get to get up every morning and enjoy my family, my friends, a brand new day, a new adventure.  All because of you.  I love you so much.  Thank you for working a miracle in my life.   I will be eternally grateful.